7,000 Shoebox Christmas Gifts to be distributed

to every elementary aged child in Decan.

I feel the weight and fatigue pressing down on me from the last few months.  I can see so clearly my need for help and I am desperate for it.  There is a great sense of expectancy in my heart.  I feel the presence of God, the excitement of serving Him, the growth in our believers and there is truly nothing like this feeling, and yet I sense my own personal physical limits.  My mind, body and emotions are pushed to the extreme limit almost daily.  I merely crumble to a heap of listlessness on my day off.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not dying or anything.  I AM ok.  I just know I cannot keep this pace.  

I want to maintain my personal health and weight loss goals.  I want to have order, discipline and plenty of love and care for my kids.  I want my husband to feel #1 in my life.  I want to obey God and follow His best plan, not my own good intentions.  I want to live fully and fully live!

I know that help is on the way.  Our dear little Missionary Associate is trying with all her might to raise her funds.  She is coming to home school David and Raema.  I don’t think I could ever be so grateful at this season in my life.  Sometimes I cry when I think of the relief this will bring me. 

Christmas is around the corner and I am not ready.  Today Steve carried the boxes marked “xmas” down from the attic so I can begin the decorating process.  It is more important than ever to decorate our home, for it is the only sign to our kids that it is indeed Christmas.  No one around us will celebrate.  The stores will not have candy canes and Christmas music playing in the background.  We will not see a parade or Santa seated in a mall with kids lined up to take pictures and hand him a list.  For the world around us it is just another working day.  Nothing special, nothing recognized.  But for us, it is the reason we live, the reason we are here and the reason we celebrate.  It is a HUGE excitement among our few believers.  This is THEIR day to parade our celebration, and force their family to wish them Merry Christmas and recognize that indeed there are Albanian Christians in Kosovo and indeed Jesus came to earth as a baby to save us from our sins.  Although we are alone this year to celebrate without extended family, and we are just 2000 believers in all of Kosova, it seems more real than ever.  Christmas IS special.  I trust God will give me the balance and energy to celebrate to the fullest with my family and Kosovar friends.